


Oompa Loompa Doom-Pa-Dee-Die

by dragonnan



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Case Fic, Chocolate Factory, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Maybe a Little Bit of Whump, Murder Mystery, Private Investigators, Wedding Planning, little bit of romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonnan/pseuds/dragonnan
Summary: Shawn and Juliet are married (Finally!).  That doesn't mean they can't do-wop it again; especially if that means a certain former partner and best friend can also attend.  Meanwhile, a trip to a famous Chocolate Factory leads to murder and mystery - with Shawn and Gus smack dab in the middle!
Relationships: Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer, Selene/Burton Guster
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Oompa Loompa Doom-Pa-Dee-Die

Hot sun beat down from a gloriously cloud free blue sky. A day, custom made, for sport, adventure, and maybe a little bit of love. Granted, Shawn Spencer would have been content with a large smoothie and basket of buffalo wings. Wedding mania had completely corrupted Juliet to the point of enforcing a strict diet. No sweets, no alcohol, no fatty or fried foods... his own, personal “Biggest Loser” event was wasting him away to a shadow of his former glory. He could feel the cold hand of death resting at the back of his neck. One more salad with fat free dressing and he was done for.

So to clarify he wasn't entirely certain why they were doing this, again. An off the cuff dock wedding stenched up with the tang of dead fish and whale flatulence had seemed extremely perfect and affordable even if there'd been a Lassitarian lack. But, with Lassie's enforced “use it or lose it” stack of vacation time Jules had thought “wedding” and now here they were.

Giving the sky one last, longing, look through the tall glass on the front doors, Shawn grunted as he bent to gather the mail from the floor. They really needed to get a proper mailbox. Bill, bill, bill, Safecracker magazine, and one giant purple envelope with a gold heart for the return address. No mail for him.

Gus was at his desk and Shawn tossed his mail into the inbox on the corner. Gus’s attention shifted from the minor stack to the long purple envelope currently being opened by his best friend.

“What’s that?”

Shawn forced his index finger beneath the extremely well sealed flap - wiggling the digit to slowly tear open the stubborn paper. “Dunno. Letter from the ghost of Prince? Secret lover maybe? You’ve been watching “Sister Wives” is there something you aren’t telling me, dude?”

“Wait, is that my mail?” Shoving to his feet and snatching the envelope, a centimeter shy of slicing a crippling paper cut through his buddy’s still burrowing finger, Gus pulverized Shawn with a glare as he fished a letter opener from the right top drawer of his desk. “Tampering with the mail is a federal offense, Shawn!”

Shawn blew cool air across his abused fingertip. “Please – you and I both know that only counts if you don’t seal up the envelope again.”

Only then did Gus take a proper look at the gold heart logo on the return address. His own heart started up a wild hammering in his chest and he struggled to control his suddenly shaking hands. “Shawn, this is…” he gulped; tipping his stare towards his friend’s glowering sulk. “There was a contest… a portion of it involved filling out a personality essay. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d rewrite my essay and enter instead.”

Shawn tipped his head sideways. “That’s fair.” 

“It was offered by the Salz Sweetz Candy Factory. The winning entries get a tour of the factory and a chance to win the grand prize.”

Back to sucking his finger, Shawn raised an eyebrow. “Gwand pwise?”

“An unlimited supply of chocolate for the next two years… and,” he gulped again, “an honorary position at the factory.”

“What kind of position?”

Gus shook his head. “It didn’t say. But you know what I think?”

Shawn leaned forward – injured finger forgotten as thoughts of possible and untold wealth filling the imaginations of them both. “What?”

Voice dropped with the hints of conspiracy, Gus looked back and forth affirming that, yes, they were still alone. “I think that they’re looking to groom a young entrepreneur to move to the head of the company. Someone with a passion for the sweet side of life; you hear what I’m saying?”

Shawn licked his lips. “I’m not sure. You’re using your seductive wooing voice right now and I’m kinda uncomfortable.”

Stepping back fast, Gus glared before neatly slicing along the top of the envelope and blowing the edges apart with a puff of air. Both of them could see the shine of gold paper inside. Gus swallowed – eyebrows pushing together as he reached in to grab the paper with two fingers.

“Come on, come on!” Wanting nothing more than to snatch back the envelope to unearth its secrets himself, Shawn clamped down on his impulses with admirable, and some would say, heroic, effort. That didn’t stop him from breathing hot air across his buddy’s neck as he crowded in as close as possible.

“Dude, you don’t back up off my neck, I’m gonna jab an elbow in your solar plexus.”

Shawn snorted. “Oh please, we both know you can’t reach that hi-oof!” Jumping back as the marble hard appendage smacked into his delicate middle tissues, Shawn rubbed his cramping tum while Gus gingerly lifted the shining golden page from the heavy envelope. His gasp was enough to forestall Shawn’s bitchery regarding ruptured small intestines. 

“Oh my God… Shawn! Oh my God…” 

Eyes went wide as Gus started to hyperventilate. “What? Are you kidding me? I was only joking about the Prince thing…” Before his babble could escalate more, Gus thrust the paper into his face.

The first word, and the only word he could read with the paper so close was “CONGRATULATIONS!” Grabbing the paper from Gus, Shawn held it at a somewhat more comfortable distance. 

**CONGRATULATIONS WINNER!**

**YOU ARE THE PROUD HOLDER OF THE OFFICIAL**

**GOLDEN INVITATION TO SALZ SWEETZ CANDY FACTORY!**

**Present this invitation at the factory gates at**

**ten o’ clock in the morning on the twentieth**

**day of April and do not be late! You may bring with**

**you one guest, and only one, but no one else.**

“Gus, this is…”

Gus nodded wildly – his eyes shiny and starting to tear up. “I know!” He squeaked – sniffing as he brushed a thumb under his nose. 

Shawn’s knees were already starting to bounce and Gus’s knees joined in a second later. Both of them bouncing in unison as the magnitude of what this could mean started to fill them.

“Gus, we’re gonna win a chocolate factory!”

Bouncing elevated to leaping – feet thumping against the floor as they started to dance.

“We’re gonna win a chocolate factory!” Shawn could hear the oompa loompas singing their praises. Not the new version with the Deep Roy clones but the real deal orange and green candy elves. Not that he had anything against Deep Roy but there was no beating a classic.

Gus abruptly stopped – wild feet tumbling him a little left where he grabbed the fireman’s pole to halt his stumble. “But Shawn, this says I can only take one person.”

Shawn also stopped, only to shrug. “Please, like there’s any question you’d take me.”

The bit of lip nibble and eye avoidance raised his suspicion meter about three levels. “Guuuuus? Why do you look like a cute little baby bulldog that just made a cute little baby poo on the carpet? Who else could you possibly think of taking other than your oldest and whitest friend-? No…”

Gus jiggled his head – eyes still hazing to the side.

“Miss Selene 'So I Married an Axe Murderer'? Dude, I took you to Fear Fest!” This brought attention smack back with some glare thrown in for seasoning.

“Yeah, and there was a murder and some gimpy chick tried to knife us! Besides, doesn’t Juliet have you on that wedding diet?”

Shawn huffed. “Please, Jules and I are joined in the bonds of love. And you and I both know that chocolate is nature’s sex medicine…”

“Woah. Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? T. M. I. And you damn well know Juliet is not going to buy that line of gibberish. You really wanna play her? Cause I plan to be there, fully prepared, to make you the next viral video when she turns your ass into swiss cheese.”

Hands flung out from his sides and nearly clipped the fake ficus. “Okay, fine. No binge eating. But the rules don’t say I can’t stock up for after the wedding.”

Gus nodded. “True. But I still haven’t said I’m taking you, either.” 

“I still need to prove my worth to you? Seriously? Okay, well how about your birthday, Gus? Yeah? I got you that modeling gig and a date with that hot chick… Berlin… uh… Wall-sho-vitz.”

“Berlinda Desidovicz. And there was no date _and_ there was a murder there too! In fact, there were two and a half murders!”

Arms crossed, Shawn dropped his trump. “You want bigger? You think I can’t go bigger? Well how about that sweet invite to The Bella Rosa with the one and only Billy Lipps? Huh? Boom!” His head tipped back as he took a swipe across his nose. 

Gus, not quite pulling off the grateful and nostalgic smile he should have been sporting, instead crossed his arms. “Okay, first of all? I was your second choice after Juliet had to cancel. Also, let’s tally up the mayhem. Murder, almost murder, interrogated by Lassiter as murder suspects, and Curt Smith got shot _and_ mauled by a puma! Not to mention, there was never any chocolate room, Shawn! Instead, I got trapped in that horrible toupee trophy room! What kind of monster has a room like that, Shawn?”

A very good question. “My dad?” He chuckled, “Dude, can you imagine my dad gluing a hat rat on…” Eyes drifted back and caught the trembling lip and barely capped trauma. “But it all turned out cool at the end, right? Remember when I totally busted Cliiiiizby?”

Gus frowned. “Are you sure? I could swear it was that stuck up Harvard guy, Martin Somebody?”

Head tilted left, Shawn’s eyes squinted as his lower lip worked between his teeth. “Huh… you know, that whole night is kinda fuzzy in spots. I think there was something other than food coloring in those licorice pastels we ate.”

Snorting, Gus tapped the heavy gold card against his palm. “I hear that.” 

Wandering to his chair, Shawn threw himself down, fully prepared to revisit “winning over Gus” after lunch. Surely Jules wouldn't begrudge him a few deep fried tacos in the name of best friend bribery?

******

Nine in the morning. Even for candy, it had taken two cups of coffee for Shawn to get past the scrambled mumbling stage of awake. Still, by the time Gus picked him up at the apartment and they were headed towards Market Street, Shawn was upright, alert, and salivating. Though it wasn’t a long drive, traffic was a sluggish pipeline of molasses broken up by Gus’s frequent mutterings about late sleepers and missing the boat ride on the chocolate river.

By the time the car pulled up in front of the factory, a minor crowd had gathered, along with several local news stations. Shawn checked his teeth for noticeable toast crumbs before pushing out of the car and taking several steps towards the factory. Three people deep into the outer crowd when he realized, with pinpoint irony, that he was alone. Apologies and a few stepped feet later, he’d worked his way back to the car where Gus was tweaking his collar in the side mirror.

“Come on!” Snatching said collar and batting away slappy hands, Shawn dragged his pal back into the thick crowd. The announcement of “Superstar Psychic Detective, Shawn Spencer, coming through!” brought no movement other than concerned frowns and glares. No longer big time celebrities like they’d been back in Santa Barbara, it took some “excuse me’s”, (Gus), and a few “accidental” shoulder checks, (Shawn), to finally muscle their way to the front of the pack.

The factory stood out amidst the surrounding businesses. Claiming a sizable plot of landscape, the massive building of glass and marble loomed over the odd little fat palm trees surrounding its base. Tall, gold colored gates, while open, were fronted by rope barricades to kept the crowd from spilling over the blue green lawn. The factory was better fortified than the White House. Though, lately, so was any home with a modest alarm system and a good sized dog.

Having alienated about a quarter of the gathered citizenry, Shawn and Gus made nice with some smiles and “how you doin’s”. Three other people, all clutching familiar golden invitations, stood a small ways apart from everyone else. The two women, one with a bright purple bob, were talking with a grinning reporter – heads close together to hear over the chattering crowd. The other, a gray haired gent a little too stiff suited for Shawn’s constitution, stood, hand in hand, with a small girl who looked something between six and twelve. 

The slow build of murmurs and occasional shouts abruptly began to die away as, far beyond the golden gates with their cutesy little heart shaped scrollwork, the double doors of the factory swung open.

Total silence washed through the crowd as a small group of figures appeared and began a slow approach across the wide concrete walkway. Other than the random cough and nearby traffic, the loudest sound to echo across the expanse was the sharp crack of a candy red cane striking the concrete. Amidst their attendants, like old world royalty, walked Veronica Salz, CEO of Salz Sweetz, and her elderly father, the infamous Wild Willy Salz.

“God, I didn’t realize he was still alive.” The two women had edged closer with the appearance of the factory owners. The one who had spoken pushed silver streaked black hair behind her ear. Her partner smacked her arm. 

“Shush, Mai, they’re hear you!” 

Shawn glanced back at the two of them. “So you’re saying he isn’t dead?”

“Shawn!” Gus clipped his bicep with a slap of his own – though far less lighthearted and teasing and a bit more towards crippling. The women, though, only chuckled at the spat. Mai patted Shawn on the shoulder.

“Sweetheart, I completely sympathize. This one,” she pointed over her shoulder at her companion, “has this unfulfilled dominatrix thing she likes to pull out and dust off every now and then.”

Grinning at the older of the two women, red hair going a rusty gray, Shawn sighed. “I’m just hoping things get better after the wedding.”

“You’re getting married? Oh, congratulations!” Both Shawn and Gus were yanked into hugs by the nearby crowd – Gus sputtering while Shawn hugged back enthusiastically and slipped his business card into available pockets.

Soon, though, the revelry died down as the slow moving group, on the opposite side of the gate, came to a stop next to a small podium that had been set out a few feet back from the entrance.

Shawn and Gus shared a glance as Wild Willy bumped aside his daughter to wipe off the microphone with a purple silk handkerchief. The echoing feedback of rasping cloth shrilled over the crowd; everyone clutching their ears and wincing at that horrid whine. Task complete, the shaggy haired old man smiled and hobbled backward. Smiling at her father, lips tight together, Veronica Salz stepped to the microphone; both hands resting on either side of the podium.

“Greetings, everyone! I am Veronica Salz, CEO of Salz Sweetz Candy Factory! I am so proud and excited to welcome you all to this exciting event! As you know, over the last three months, we’ve been in search of three, incredibly talented and special people! These three individuals will have the opportunity to share in a unique challenge! The First Annual, Salz Sweetz, Sweet Dreams Competition!”

During the long pause for cheers, clapping, and mugging for the various news outlets, Shawn dug free his phone and checked his messages. He had three notifications from Juliet and four from his father – the latter in an ongoing rant about expenses and fittings and something blah blah color coordination. Ignoring the old man, he tapped out a rapid “I luv u” to Juliet and a promise to call later. Then, Shawn turned back to the presentation to add in his own piercing whistle and “Woop Woop!” just as the roar was dying down. Gus huffed some guff in his direction, but at least he hadn’t tried to puncture a lung with a violent elbow nudge. Thank God Selene was in his life, _a sentiment he’d never have thought would hitchhike across his brain pan_ , because it seemed to be mellowing out Gus’s more abusive tendencies.

“And now,” Veronica continued as the cheering faded to a soft chatter, “I want to invite the essay winners, and their guests, to join us inside! Thank you so much, to all of you, for your support of the Salz Sweetz Candy Factory!”

******

Of course, they were no more than three steps into the factory before Gus laid down the law.

“Remember what we talked about, Shawn. No snacking, no tasting, no sniffing without my express approval. And the only sweets that go in your mouth are the sugar free variety.”

Shawn rumpled his lips. “What is this; the Oompa Loompa Rules of Etiquette!? No sweets, no fun, no having any other gods, no making graven images…”

“Okay, those last two are part of the Ten Commandments.”

Shawn brushed past his friend to catch up with the main herd on their way to the first stop on the tour. “That’s different, how?”

They joined everyone as they were pushing through a set of double doors. Veronica stood near the entrance; her father at her side. Wild Willy nodded and grinned at everyone who passed – handing out candy.

“Would you like a sucker?” Shawn snatched for the blue treat only for Gus to rip it from his hands.

“Dude, I promised Juliet!”

Shawn re-snatched the sucker. “And I promise not to tell Selene that you decided to have a play-date at a candy factory, with me, instead of her.” 

Gus snapped his lips but didn’t attempt to reacquire the tiny candied sin as Shawn popped the blue sphere between his teeth. He rolled his eyes and led them the rest of the way into the room.

“Fine. But you get to be the one to explain to Juliet when your cummerbund doesn’t fit.”

Shawn huffed. “Gus, don’t be a Rocky Mountain oyster. You and I both know Juliet is wearing the cummerbund. Just make sure dad is out of the room when I throw it to the crowd.”

A waft of confusion before Gus scrunched his brow. “Dude, Juliet is wearing a garter. A cummerbund is-”

“Welcome, everyone, to the first stop of the tour!” Veronica stood next a floor to ceiling rack of brightly colored boxes and folded stacks of tissue. Not quite the indoor magical garden of edible everything Shawn had imagined – this looked more like a corporate storage room. His teeth crunched the last bit of sucker and he pulled the soggy white stick from his mouth – glancing around for a trash can before covertly slipping the stick into the suit pocket of the older man standing in front of him.

“Dude!” Gus rasped as he smacked him in the right chest.

Rubbing his manhandled pec, Shawn whispered back, “Please, like he’ll even notice!”

A moment later, the man rested his hands loose in his pockets; only to pull his left hand free – the pulpy stick attached to the side of his palm. “Who…?” 

He turned – Shawn and Gus right behind him acting natural.

“Did you do this?”

Shawn rubbed the side of his nose. “What? Are you kidding me right now? Pretty sure it was Miss sassy pants over there.” Shawn pointed out the young girl that had accompanied the older man. The girl, seeing the gesture, stuck out her tongue.

“Are you accusing my granddaughter?” Mouth pulling back in disgust, the mustachioed man peeled the stick from his hand and pitched it into the trash can a foot to his left.

“Ooooh… there it is.” Shawn smiled. “Thanks man.” 

The man sniffed before turning back toward the speech that was beginning to wrap up. 

“Alright, everyone! Are you ready for the first stop?”

Shawn gave the room a swift back and forth scan. “I… thought this was the first stop?”

Veronica grinned. “Haha! Not exactly, Mr…?”

“Spencer, Shawn. And this is my partner, Fannie May ‘Spanx’ Nicoletti. I call him ‘Gummi Bear’ for short.”

“Bouncin’ here and there and everywhere.” Gus shared a fist bump with Shawn – toning down his typical come hither leer to a neutral grin. He was, after all, a taken man.

“Uh huh,” addressing the group as a whole, Veronica stepped towards a set of plain gray double doors. “So then, if you would please follow me, it’s time to see some magic!”

A press of the thumb against the green button next to the doors, and they began to swing apart. Shawn and Gus pushed and wriggled their way to the front – Gus keeping just ahead of his friend with a wicked hip check that sent his buddy plowing into a set of cooling racks. Metal clattering and a round of grousing followed as Shawn disentangled from the rolling racks – almost wobbling into a blue cabinet on the far wall before he got his bearings again. “Dude, cheap shot!”

Glares all around from the better mannered members of the tour – the small girl leveling a kick to Shawn’s ankle as he shuffled past her and her grandpop. “Ow! Hey!”

Her tiny nose wrinkled at him – her elderly backup pushing up a sleeve in mild threat.

“I’d avoid any geese that lay the golden eggs if I were you.” He muttered before moving on to rejoin Gus near the front of the group. But all dreams of technicolor vengeance vanished at the vista that opened before him.

Color – like a thousand pixies had just waged battle with a thousand unicorns; their glorious war leaving their brilliant hues across every surface. Bright blue walls, orange ceiling, green floor, blazing yellow packing crates… even the uniforms of the factory works were splashes of rich lavender vibrance.

Veronica was nearby; expounding on the factory and the management of blah blah. Shawn, however, was locked in on the source of all that was right with the world. A glorious, gushing masterpiece of culinary and engineering mastery.

“Gus!” His hand latched to the right, gripping with fervor at the same moment that Gus snatched his arm right back. A hard swallow, and they both spoke with the awed wonder of two supplicants meeting their Master.

“The Cocoa Cascade!”

Wild Willy’s greatest creation, aside from his Caramel Salted Whipped Balls, was the Cocoa Cascade. The first thing to slap the eyes of visitors, thirty-five feet of creamy chocolate froth poured, seemingly straight from the translucent pebbled glass wall behind it. At the bottom, a chocolate pool swirled within a circle of carved white, milk, and dark chocolate stones and trees. Chocolate woodland creatures, with bright candy eyes, gathered around the edges to take in the breathtaking beauty.

“Gus, breathe!” Shawn whapped his buddy between the shoulder blades – triggering a staggered gasp.

“Oh my God, Shawn!” Still enraptured, Gus continued to stare as Shawn draped an arm across the shoulders he’d just abused.

“What I wouldn’t give for a giant twisty straw right about now.”

Gus bumped his fist. “You know that’s right!”

“Actually,” Veronica’s voice, right at their sides, ripped them from their chocolate drenched fantasy, “this chocolate isn’t for consumption. This is a display piece, only, I’m afraid.”

The rest of the group joined them as Veronica led everyone around the back of the display. “Behind the waterfall is a hidden cabinet.” Pulling a gold key from her pocket, she slid aside a hidden panel and exposed a tall door. The lock clicked with the single key turn and the door pulled open. The hidden side to the cascade was nearly as impressive as the front. Copper pipes of varying size curved back and forth - almost like mechanical organs. Veronica stepped aside to allow the rest of the group a good look. 

“Six thousand pounds of chocolate feed through these copper pipes. The mixture is kept at a constant one-hundred and fifteen degrees to ensure an endless flow of delicious liquid chocolate!”

Awed murmurs from the group – though none were of greater reverence than the near whimpers leaking from between Gus’s lips. Shawn’s elbow thudded into his buddy’s ribcage until the leaking balloon sounds stopped.

Closing up the cabinet once more, Veronica pocketed the key. “If you think this is impressive, wait until we reach the chocolate room!”

Double squeaks followed her statements, but the group had started to separate itself from the two men clutching one another.

“Shawn! Did she just say what I thought she just said?” Gus’s face twisted into a blend of hope and what looked a bit like bad gas.

Shawn gripped a hand on one bunched shoulder – giving it a squeeze of camaraderie and comfort. “She did, buddy. And I can promise you, this time, it won’t be a room filled with hair.” 

The group was already to the next room by the time Shawn and Gus snapped out of their milk chocolate fueled hunger haze. Fast walking brought them back with the group just as Veronica was explaining the mechanics behind their state of the art taffy puller. Samples were being passed around and Shawn grabbed double handfuls under the glares of a certain grandfather and granddaughter. A similar glare was lobbied from Gus's judgmental eyes – though it lost some heat when Shawn offered him a strawberry taffy.

“You’re only supposed to take one!” Sniped little Miss Tattles.

Shawn curled back a lip. “If they wanted you to just take one they’d have put a sign up.”

Crossed her arms, the child scrunched her nose. “Everybody knows you only get one!”

“Yeah?” Pockets stuffed to capacity, Shawn finally passed the plundered basket to the woman on his left. “Well everyone knows that tellers of tales get taken away by underground muppets and forced into manual labour!”

Gus leaned in – teeth tacky from his chewy sweet. “Did you just tell a little girl she’s going to get kidnapped by Fraggles?”

Bypassing explanation, Shawn nudged Gus in the bicep while the primary group proceeded on towards the rolling drums filled with what looked like Red Hots. “Dude, I say we sneak off and find the chocolate room before everyone else gets there, what say you?”

At the suggestion of “chocolate” and “room”, Gus’s eyes glazed like sugar donuts and a small bit of drool gathered on his lower lip. Wiping his mouth, his eyes went wide as he scanned the room – head pivoting in a way that screamed “crime in progress” before nudging Shawn back and pointing towards a set of double glass doors. A shared fist bump, the both of them twisting their heads back and forth to fully scan the crowd for spies, and they were through the doors.

And immediately they had to duck into another room as a security guard turned the corner ahead of them. 

Gus, wedged between Shawn’s back and a tower of empty candy boxes, puffed a hot breath against his buddy’s ear as he fought to create more room. “Uh, Shawn, maybe we should just stick with the tour.”

“Are you kidding me?” Hissing back, Shawn kept his eyes on the tiny crack of open door – watching as the guard moved past them and towards the T junction further down the way. Once the man was out of sight, Shawn slipped back out and flattened himself against the far wall – proud to see Gus following along in spite of his misgivings.

“You know, these floors are amazingly clean.” Shawn rubbed his sneaker against the white tile; enjoying the squeak. Gus nudged him with an elbow.

“It’s a factory dealing with food items. They have to keep strict standards to meet FDA guidelines.”

Snorting back, Shawn stopped trying to scuff the bright polish. “Please; what does a flower company have to do with chocolate?”

They both stopped for a moment – Shawn’s eyes squinting. “Okay, you know what? Forget I asked that question.”

Ahead of them was a set of wide double doors. Two small windows allowed them to peek in on the factory floor. Several workers in zipped up white coveralls and masks were working an assembly line loaded with bars of cooling chocolate. Towards the back were stacks of ingredients in brown paper sacks. And, lined up against the back wall, were nearly half a dozen tall, white, vats.

Ducking back down again, Shawn chewed his lip. At his side, Gus nudged up on his tiptoes once more – eyes taking on a familiar basset hound aspect.

Shawn nodded once, sharp. “Dude, I got an idea.” He immediately walked back the way they’d come. Three seconds later, his feet slapped back across the floor – one hand snatching out to grab Gus by the back of the shirt and haul him away from the window.

Five minutes later, two figures reappeared; decked out head to toe in lavender, hooded, coveralls, rubber gloves, and masks pulled nearly up to their eyes. Their shoes squeaked on the floor as they pushed into the larger room.

Ignored by the workers on the assembly line, Shawn and Gus angled towards the five huge vats at the back of the floor. Easily as tall as the Giant’s Willie statue on the Embarcadero, the vats were each topped with temperature gauges, tubes, and other, miscellaneous dials. Above it all was a narrow catwalk that ran the whole length of the back wall.

Shawn glanced at Gus.

Gus nodded. “You know that’s right.”

******

Shawn grunted – his grip on Gus’s legs a shaky affair as his buddy hung over the tank filled with creamy dark chocolate. 

“Dude, hurry up!” Strained hiss cut off in a grunt as his sneakers slid across the grating – dropping his buddy another centimeter towards the warm pool of viscous, dark brown, cocoa. 

“Do I look like Mister Fantastic? I need three more inches!” Gus, fingertips stretched, actually did try to extend his limbs beyond the restrictions of biology; biting back the panic that, any second, they’d be spotted.

Shawn snerked, nearly losing his grip altogether. “That’s what she - _crap_!” His feet slid, again, plunging Gus to within an inch of the fifteen foot wide pool.

“Ack! Shawn! I nearly fell in!”

“Isn’t _-puff-_ that the daydream you’ve had since _-guh-_ since you were six?”

Gus swung out a hand but there was nothing within reach to brace himself. “No, that’s your daydream, Shawn!” Good thing the huge stirring paddle had been shut off; otherwise it would have swept him right out of Shawn’s grip.

“I’ve _-huff-_ told you. My daydream is sw-swimming with... _nugh_ … dolphins!”

There was a distinct tremor in Shawn’s grip. Okay, yeah, better hurry this up.

Gus had to admit; this was a lifelong fulfillment of a dream. Ever since he’d watched Augustus Gloop partaking of pure, river fed chocolate, he’d been determined to get a taste directly from the source. Conscientious of contamination, he’d insisted that both he and Shawn scrub their hands and gloves five times, rubbing them with disinfectant, before entering the factory floor. 

His fingertip was close enough to dimple the surface of liquid chocolate. Just a taste. That was all he’d need to carry him forward for the rest of his life. 

A bubble swelled up beneath his hand. 

Gus twisted his neck – trying to get a better angle on the smooth surface. Another dome expanded beneath his fingertip. Gus reached for it – compelled to pop the next bubble.

Breaking the surface, three fingers glided from the dark depths and pushed into his hand.

Gaping, horrified, Gus wrenched away from the macabre sight and screeched. Arms slung out to either side – snatching for anything to cling to. Above, Shawn yelped at the sudden flailing – feet skidding, once more, as his body was yanked towards the edge.

“Gus, stop it! Stop, it, stop it - Oh craaaaaaaa...!”

And the grating vanished beneath his feet.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this story was actually started back in 2014 to be part of the Psych VS. However, after a great deal of agonizing I decided to cancel the VS as there had been no progress by any of us for years. So, since I'm still in love with this plot, I'm cleaning this up and adjusting the plot a bit to fit with the first movie events and am so excited to present the first chapter! There should be a total of about 4 chapters and I'm around halfway completed with the second chapter. Everything is plotted out so this is just a matter of getting it written. Fair warning life is really chaotic right now so this will be slow going but it WILL get done!


End file.
